Headlines Around the Low Country
Leadership 101: Show, Don't tell
By W. Thomas Smith Jr.
July 12, 2012
We writers have a saying, "Show, Don't tell." In other words, we
shouldn't tell our readers something is "good." We should describe the
goodness. Rather than telling the reader that a woman is beautiful; we
describe her attributes in such a way that the reader sees just how
beautiful she really is.
Show-Don't-tell works the same with leaders and subordinates. As
leaders we shouldn't simply tell our subordinates they're doing good
work. We should show them. DEMONSTRATE to them our appreciation for
their good work. How? It's up to us individually, and it depends largely
on the circumstances. But if we are not demonstrating – and
demonstrating regularly – our subordinates are either failing to
perform, or we're falling short as leaders. Perhaps both.
IT DOESN'T TAKE MUCH
Keep in mind, demonstrating our appreciation for a job well done
doesn't require a lot. In fact, there's a fine line between showing and
telling. And it's best to operate close to that fine-line so as not to
spoil our charges with too much on the front end.
You wouldn't award the Navy Cross to a sailor or Marine just because he
had completed a task on time. Nor would you award top-tier medals to
every rifleman in a platoon just because every rifleman is doing his job
(though we do live in the age when every kid gets a trophy for simply
participating in a sport). Lofty medals should be reserved for those who
go far above-and-beyond their everyday jobs, else the awarding dilutes
the value and salutary prestige of the medal itself.
But there are myriad simple yet substantive ways to recognize
individual achievement and demonstrate sincere appreciation for that
achievement whether in the military, in business, or any other endeavor
where there are leaders, followers, goals, and measures of performance.
And it doesn't require a lot of effort or creative thought. Again, it's
up to us individually to determine how, but it may be something as
simple as making a surprise phone-call or scheduling an out-of-the-way
visit for the singular reason of saying, "Thank you for doing what no
one else could have. You're vital to this organization, and I will not
forget what you've done."
The "thanks" must be recognizably sincere. You don't want your "thank
you" to be "hollow flattery" or "thanks as an aside." And you never want
to "damn" your subordinates "with faint praise."
HOLLOW FLATTERY
I know a guy, a rather gregarious sort, who – every time he sees me –
shouts, "Tom, the world's greatest writer and my absolute favorite." He
then proceeds to boast to everyone else in the room what an "amazingly
talented scribe" I am. Problem is, I'm only his favorite as long as I'm
the only writer in the room, because as soon as another of his
writer-friends comes within his presence, they suddenly become "the
world's greatest writer" and his "absolute favorite."
Hollow flattery is cute and marginally polite the first go-'round, but
absolutely worthless, insincere, and borderline boorish the fifth or
sixth time.
THANKS AS AN ASIDE
Thanks-as-an-aside is nothing more than "thank you" as an afterthought.
For example, if you – as a leader – are pouring additional
responsibilities onto one of your best-performing subordinates, and
while pouring you add, "By the way, good work on the project"; well,
that compliment may well-be drowned in the sea of responsibilities being
poured. Moreover, thanks-as-an-aside smacks of hollow flattery or
worse, damning with faint praise.
DAMNING WITH FAINT PRAISE
We've all been damned with faint praise. It goes something like, "Yeah,
I suppose you make a pretty good cake, but the chocolate is too sweet."
And this after the person who baked the cake just spent the previous 12
hours baking and decorating a zillion cakes for a charity event.
Then there is the "Well, at least you tried." Or "Hey pal, I appreciate what you're doing. Now let's get to work."
The truth of it is this type of "thanks" – if we can call it that – has
no value other than to subtly mask the declarer's condemnation of
another.
SIMPLE THANKS
There are all sorts of clever ways to demonstrate sincere appreciation at the basic level.
Again, you as the leader must determine how to "show" thanks, and it
may be something as simple as a surprise phone-call or an out-of-the-way
visit. Depending on who or what it's for, a true "thank you" might be
as easy and effective as a sincere smile, a handshake, and 60-seconds of
truly affirming, articulated gratitude. It might be a special note, a
card, a thoughtfully worded email, a little book, a small yet unique
memento of either the effort in which the achiever was involved or one
of your (the leader's) personal belongings.
I brought back a rock from Iraq in 2007 and gave it to a highly
decorated retired Marine colonel who – when he was a young captain –
fought in the 1968 Battle of Hue, Vietnam. I told him I picked up the
rock in the Iraqi city of Fallujah where Marines fought and won a great
urban battle in 2004 and were victorious – in large measure – because of
lessons learned 36-years-earlier in Hue. The man nearly wept. And it
was just a rock.
Other ideas include inviting the achiever to a special meeting with
other leaders (so you can "show them off"), a simple giving of the
leader's time (lunch, coffee, or dinner) or – if the achiever is a woman
– all of the above and perhaps flowers or an appropriately decorated
cupcake. As you can see, the possibilities are endless and limited only
by the leader's creativity and knowledge of what matters most to the
individual to be thanked.
It doesn't take much as long as we remember to never pass off hollow
flattery or thanks-as-an-aside as real thanks. And we must always
remember to show, don't tell.
Stay with us. There's so much more, including more on Show-Don't-tell. Previous Leadership 101 pieces are available here. If you have questions or suggestions, I'm at marine1@uswriter.com.
– W. Thomas Smith Jr. is a former U.S. Marine rifle-squad leader
and counterterrorism instructor who writes about military/defense issues
and has covered war in Eastern Europe and the Middle East. He directs
the U.S. Counterterrorism Advisory Team. He is a field-grade officer in
the S.C. Military Dept. He is the author of six books, a New York Times
bestselling editor, and his articles appear in a variety of
publications. Smith's website is uswriter.com.
